pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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