he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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