K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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