quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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