But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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