i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
