Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
