Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
