Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
