I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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