Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
