You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
