apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
