It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
