I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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