it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
