"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
