No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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