Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
