remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
