Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
