im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i came on her dog
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
