If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
