I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
