ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
