belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
