so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
