Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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