She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
