The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Green mimosas i think yes
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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