i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
