Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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