I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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