How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
