I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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