peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
