is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my shit smells like andre
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
