Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
