she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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