if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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