I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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