does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
