Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
