One girl and one boy is just not enough.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
