I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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