um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
