I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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