I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I need to calm my uterus...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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