Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
