so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
