so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
